New book idea. By the time I get out of all this, maybe I'll be some kind of expert. If I survive it.
I went to the unemployment office today. Halloween Hell and that horrible bar are both denying I ever worked for them, so I had to bring in pay stubs to prove that I had worked there.
The gentleman I spoke with was very helpful, very nice. I learned he's actually a certified high school chemistry teacher, and left CPS back in '09. He's also an Iraq war vet. It makes me sad that he's stuck working for the state. He told me I should apply online, so I think I will, but he also told me I belong in a classroom. It makes me so happy and so sad when people say that. I WANT to be in a classroom. I spent 5 years of college going to school so I could get a job going to school. I want to be a writer, but writers don't make enough to pay the rent up front, you know? I mean, I AM a writer, but nobody pays me for it yet. I figured being a teacher would give me the time and inspiration to write because I could actually pay my bills with a teaching job.
So, apply to be one of those paper-pushers that really don't like their job or the system, and hope for a teaching job down the line, and write my fingers to the bone, and maybe I get some kind of money out of writing? Maybe I move to another state and recertify so I can get a damn teaching job? But I can't afford to move to another state, surely not for a few years (I figure 3-5, considering how much moving within the city sets me back each time).
So how does one deal with all the red tape?
Do exactly as they say.
And then some.
Apply, for whatever it is, and assume you won't get it the first time around. You never know what you need until after you apply, and with the deadlines, you can almost never get all the things in on time, so you end up being denied. Then at least you know what you need. So collect everything you need and reapply. And when they tell you that you don't need copies for yourself, MAKE copies for yourself. It's kind of like dealing with a financial aid office at any college/university.
KEEP EVERYTHING! Keep pay stubs, keep a calendar and mark off your start and end date, and EXACTLY how many days you worked. (Who has EVER asked about that? But you need it.)
Be nice to them! They don't probably like their jobs. They probably want a social form of health care. They're probably working that job because they needed to pay their bills and insure themselves. And they spend every day all day dealing with people who are either trying to take advantage of the system, or actually really need the help, and they know the system isn't working properly, and that humans make mistakes, and that computers get glitchy, so try and be nice to them. They're people too, and they'll help you if you show some personality.
::sigh:: To the internet, to send my qualities out into the netherworlds and pray I hook something...
Friday, January 7, 2011
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Commitment Issues
See? I suck at this. I can't post every day. What could I possibly have to complain about, in a new and interesting way, every single day?
Today was rather interesting. I went to the Unemployment office, seeing as they don't recognize Mac computers through their website. (Can we say "outdated"?)
I was surprised to see at least of a quarter of the people sitting and waiting, or standing in line waiting, were under 30. Maybe another quarter could be considered "elderly" and the rest were all the in between. But still, it struck me, seeing so many younger people.
You fill out the application and they tell you to go home and wait for something to come in the mail. If you don't get it in 2 weeks, you go back to the office. I'm assuming they'll be asking for more information, but maybe not. Sure, they asked for your personal information and your work history, but that was it.
Still waiting around on foodstamps. My appointment is the 14th, so hopefully I'll walk out of the office with a Link card. Gotta put together all the paperwork I'll know they'll want for that.
In the meantime, I've been helping my mom with her paperwork. I can't believe they make it so hard for her. Here's the deal: for medical aid/foodstamps/etc, etc, if you claim to be disabled, they want proof. (duh) BUT they want to see doctor's notes and info from only the past 6 months. How do you get that if you've been uninsured and unmedicated for years? She's brought them all her medical records from when she was first diagnosed with MS, but none of that stuff is recent. Basically, I have to go with her to her next doctor appointment and get the doctor to write down in her notes, all the symptoms my mom experiences related to the MS. Then I have to try and get the doctor to look at my mom's old med records and acknowledge in her own notes that the records show my mom was diagnosed in the past. Basically, I have to tell the doctor what to write. (spuh!?)
Then there's just the messed up fact of how the system works. So everything has dates, right? And paperwork has to be in by deadlines, right? But when you don't really know what they're going to want, it gets difficult. They don't tell you straight out that you need doctors' appointments, so by the time you schedule the appointment and manage to get into the office and manage to get the damn paperwork they wanted, the deadline has passed, and you have to start all over. Stupid, I know.
If my dad asks me one more time, "How's it going?" in relation to my job hunt, I might have to strangle him. What do you tell him? There are no jobs that I would even consider working? And all the ones I would, I've applied to, and heard nothing? Is that what you tell him? If that computer-hating, stuck in the past, soon to be 64 year old man ever looses his job, and has to get another one, I swear he'll just lay down and die. He has no understanding of how things work now. Don't get me wrong, I personally think it sucks that everything has to be done online, and employers really don't want to see you, don't want you to come in and make yourself known. I hate it, because that's how I learned to get a job, that's how I was raised: give a good impression, show them you're really interested, then when you get the job, show them you're a reliable and hard worker. Oh society, what have you degraded to? You send your resume and all these applications off into the interspace, and, what a surprise, nothing happens...
While reading some research stuff my mom emailed me, I realized I needed to clean out my mail downloads, and you wouldn't believe what I found... Having run across two or three letters from an angry, ugly-ending, ex, I realize how very dark my life was for a long period of time. I realized I'm lucky I didn't try to kill myself outright, instead of slowly drowning my woes into the bottom of a bottle. I realize I'm lucky my priorities were at least straight enough that I sobered up after 3 months and threw myself at my education with a vengeance.
Then again, for throwing myself into my education so completely, so all-consuming, the way I did, I'm kind of surprised I didn't try to off myself.
Now here I am, all that education, time, money, effort, energy... all complete losses, no way to recuperate any of all that spent... and for what? But I'm here, and looking at my track record, this, too, shall I survive.
THIS, my friends, THIS is the sign of our times! We have all been lied to, perhaps unintentionally, but lied to none the less. We were bred and groomed and educated to believe that you went to school, you worked hard, you finished school, you got a job, you worked hard, you attained some comfort in life, and the rest was all whatever until you died. Not true.
I went to school, I worked hard, I finished school (and did pretty well, I might add) and now I struggle to find a job. Seems like the map derailed a bit there.
I don't feel any shame in trying o get food stamps or unemployment, or whatever. Let's face it, ladies and gentlemen, we PAY for those services. Every single time we pay taxes, we PAY for those services. Why not take advantage of them? Well, the answer is because it's so frustrating that you don't want to deal with it. But I will. If I have to learn to help my mom, I might as well learn to help myself, and then maybe I can make one great big post on here about "How to get your well-deserved, tax-paid-for, Safety Net Services"... or maybe I could post myself to Craigslist as a personal assistant to those applying for the benefits. Then again, they have no money, so how could they possibly pay me to do it for them?
Sigh.
THIS is OUR time, and it is a dark time. It will not be dark forever, unless we sit back and let it be. Changes need to occur. We need to make it easier to get the safety net benefits we all occasionally need, because that's how people get so screwed. Mom told me today they were selling all these awesome foreclosed homes for $1000. Yes, you read that right. The banks are selling these $500k homes for $1,000.00. That's ONE THOUSAND. You can't even get a crap box beater car for a thousand dollars. And MAYBE, if the banks would have told the original home owners, "Hey, give us $1000 and we'll leave you alone for a while" instead of "Please pay: $50,000 [or your first born] by two weeks from today, or we shall foreclose" maybe if the banks had just taken $1000 from the original home owners, the original home owners wouldn't have lost their house, and there wouldn't be such a horrible state to the economy right now, people's lives wouldn't have been so shaken and crushed, they wouldn't be depressed and discouraged...
THIS is our time, ladies and gentlemen, and if we allow the horrible things to happen that keep happening, it will not get better. Only we can [prevent forest fires] make the changes we so desperately wish that our parents had made. So be proactive, and please at least vote for mayor in the upcoming elections. Please do a little research. Please fight the utilities and cable/internet companies and cell phone companies for every penny they don't really give you. Make sure people stick to their contracts, make sure they keep their appointments (how come if we cancel our appointment at the dr/dentist, within the 24 hours leading up to the appointment, we get charged, and if we're late, they move on, but we can sit there for hours and wait, and our time is not worth any money?) make sure you MAKE them have some business ethics, huh?
THIS is our time, to stand up, to pay attention, to stop letting people and companies do things TO us, ACT upon us, and to speak up instead. THIS is our time to TRY, to MAKE a difference, to DO.
I have seen the darkness, and I shall forge through it. I shall NOT go quietly! It's hard to not throw up your hands, lay down, and give up, but THIS is not the time for that... That will come when we are all old and dying. Now we are young of body, and we need to recoup the fire of youth in our souls, and we need to make a stand.
Today was rather interesting. I went to the Unemployment office, seeing as they don't recognize Mac computers through their website. (Can we say "outdated"?)
I was surprised to see at least of a quarter of the people sitting and waiting, or standing in line waiting, were under 30. Maybe another quarter could be considered "elderly" and the rest were all the in between. But still, it struck me, seeing so many younger people.
You fill out the application and they tell you to go home and wait for something to come in the mail. If you don't get it in 2 weeks, you go back to the office. I'm assuming they'll be asking for more information, but maybe not. Sure, they asked for your personal information and your work history, but that was it.
Still waiting around on foodstamps. My appointment is the 14th, so hopefully I'll walk out of the office with a Link card. Gotta put together all the paperwork I'll know they'll want for that.
In the meantime, I've been helping my mom with her paperwork. I can't believe they make it so hard for her. Here's the deal: for medical aid/foodstamps/etc, etc, if you claim to be disabled, they want proof. (duh) BUT they want to see doctor's notes and info from only the past 6 months. How do you get that if you've been uninsured and unmedicated for years? She's brought them all her medical records from when she was first diagnosed with MS, but none of that stuff is recent. Basically, I have to go with her to her next doctor appointment and get the doctor to write down in her notes, all the symptoms my mom experiences related to the MS. Then I have to try and get the doctor to look at my mom's old med records and acknowledge in her own notes that the records show my mom was diagnosed in the past. Basically, I have to tell the doctor what to write. (spuh!?)
Then there's just the messed up fact of how the system works. So everything has dates, right? And paperwork has to be in by deadlines, right? But when you don't really know what they're going to want, it gets difficult. They don't tell you straight out that you need doctors' appointments, so by the time you schedule the appointment and manage to get into the office and manage to get the damn paperwork they wanted, the deadline has passed, and you have to start all over. Stupid, I know.
If my dad asks me one more time, "How's it going?" in relation to my job hunt, I might have to strangle him. What do you tell him? There are no jobs that I would even consider working? And all the ones I would, I've applied to, and heard nothing? Is that what you tell him? If that computer-hating, stuck in the past, soon to be 64 year old man ever looses his job, and has to get another one, I swear he'll just lay down and die. He has no understanding of how things work now. Don't get me wrong, I personally think it sucks that everything has to be done online, and employers really don't want to see you, don't want you to come in and make yourself known. I hate it, because that's how I learned to get a job, that's how I was raised: give a good impression, show them you're really interested, then when you get the job, show them you're a reliable and hard worker. Oh society, what have you degraded to? You send your resume and all these applications off into the interspace, and, what a surprise, nothing happens...
While reading some research stuff my mom emailed me, I realized I needed to clean out my mail downloads, and you wouldn't believe what I found... Having run across two or three letters from an angry, ugly-ending, ex, I realize how very dark my life was for a long period of time. I realized I'm lucky I didn't try to kill myself outright, instead of slowly drowning my woes into the bottom of a bottle. I realize I'm lucky my priorities were at least straight enough that I sobered up after 3 months and threw myself at my education with a vengeance.
Then again, for throwing myself into my education so completely, so all-consuming, the way I did, I'm kind of surprised I didn't try to off myself.
Now here I am, all that education, time, money, effort, energy... all complete losses, no way to recuperate any of all that spent... and for what? But I'm here, and looking at my track record, this, too, shall I survive.
THIS, my friends, THIS is the sign of our times! We have all been lied to, perhaps unintentionally, but lied to none the less. We were bred and groomed and educated to believe that you went to school, you worked hard, you finished school, you got a job, you worked hard, you attained some comfort in life, and the rest was all whatever until you died. Not true.
I went to school, I worked hard, I finished school (and did pretty well, I might add) and now I struggle to find a job. Seems like the map derailed a bit there.
I don't feel any shame in trying o get food stamps or unemployment, or whatever. Let's face it, ladies and gentlemen, we PAY for those services. Every single time we pay taxes, we PAY for those services. Why not take advantage of them? Well, the answer is because it's so frustrating that you don't want to deal with it. But I will. If I have to learn to help my mom, I might as well learn to help myself, and then maybe I can make one great big post on here about "How to get your well-deserved, tax-paid-for, Safety Net Services"... or maybe I could post myself to Craigslist as a personal assistant to those applying for the benefits. Then again, they have no money, so how could they possibly pay me to do it for them?
Sigh.
THIS is OUR time, and it is a dark time. It will not be dark forever, unless we sit back and let it be. Changes need to occur. We need to make it easier to get the safety net benefits we all occasionally need, because that's how people get so screwed. Mom told me today they were selling all these awesome foreclosed homes for $1000. Yes, you read that right. The banks are selling these $500k homes for $1,000.00. That's ONE THOUSAND. You can't even get a crap box beater car for a thousand dollars. And MAYBE, if the banks would have told the original home owners, "Hey, give us $1000 and we'll leave you alone for a while" instead of "Please pay: $50,000 [or your first born] by two weeks from today, or we shall foreclose" maybe if the banks had just taken $1000 from the original home owners, the original home owners wouldn't have lost their house, and there wouldn't be such a horrible state to the economy right now, people's lives wouldn't have been so shaken and crushed, they wouldn't be depressed and discouraged...
THIS is our time, ladies and gentlemen, and if we allow the horrible things to happen that keep happening, it will not get better. Only we can [prevent forest fires] make the changes we so desperately wish that our parents had made. So be proactive, and please at least vote for mayor in the upcoming elections. Please do a little research. Please fight the utilities and cable/internet companies and cell phone companies for every penny they don't really give you. Make sure people stick to their contracts, make sure they keep their appointments (how come if we cancel our appointment at the dr/dentist, within the 24 hours leading up to the appointment, we get charged, and if we're late, they move on, but we can sit there for hours and wait, and our time is not worth any money?) make sure you MAKE them have some business ethics, huh?
THIS is our time, to stand up, to pay attention, to stop letting people and companies do things TO us, ACT upon us, and to speak up instead. THIS is our time to TRY, to MAKE a difference, to DO.
I have seen the darkness, and I shall forge through it. I shall NOT go quietly! It's hard to not throw up your hands, lay down, and give up, but THIS is not the time for that... That will come when we are all old and dying. Now we are young of body, and we need to recoup the fire of youth in our souls, and we need to make a stand.
Monday, November 22, 2010
MIA
So I've totally been MIA.
It's been busy, and relatively uninspiring.
Let's see, as far as feeding myself goes, they finally finished in my apartment sometime... first weekend? second weekend? of November. Finally, after like 4 months of never-ending life interruptus. I'm now able to cook, however, I couldn't cook for like 3 days because I hadn't gotten my last pay check yet, so I couldn't get groceries. Other than that, I get fed by others, which is usually preferable.
I won't lie- there were at least 3 times in the past 3 weeks where I just ate Ramen noodles out of the pan they were cooked in (in which they were cooked, says the teacher in me).
Working Halloween Hell was pretty mind numbing. Some of the people I worked with were cool, and some were kind of dumb. It's funny that my patience only seems to apply to students, not people I work with, or for. Hey, I got out of having to be a minimum wage mover! I was mainly in charge of inventory and packing.
Tonight, a very good friend looked at me and told me I should "stop passing up jobs" and that he feels like I "always talk [myself] out of things" but I don't think I agree with that.
Let's face it, I haven't applied to as nearly as many jobs as my compatriots. However, all I've "passed up" was a heads up that a school was taking applications for a non-teaching position. In my experience with this school, and with others that have held the position... It's political career death, essentially. Let's face it, I've talked myself out of making a very poor choice, basically. I have the option to take a position somewhere that I don't like the atmosphere, don't like the administration, don't like the mindset, and I'm supposed to base my job security on my ability to keep quiet and kiss up?
Anyone who knows me, knows that's not how I work.
Anyone who knows me, knows what I went through at that school. Why I know it's political career death.
Anyone that knows teaching understands the concept of political career death right now.
I didn't get a teaching certificate to play politic, but I'd rather play politic than be a complete and total boot lick. I think, as a teacher, you hope that you can have some freedoms, such as what happens (to some extent) in your classroom, and that you don't have to overwhelmingly support anyone or thing as long as you don't vocally denounce it, either. You can keep some dignity. You can keep some free will.
There are certain things I can't give up, and I fear those might lead to black-listing. Political career death before I even get on my way to my career? No thank you.
Money motivated... If I took a job in some sort of medical billing or customer service for the field, I could make some good money. I could maybe learn some things about financing and how the medical system works. If I got a job connected to a university, I could possibly take some classes for less or free. If I get involved in the suburbs, I could wait out whatever is going on with our sad public schools, make good money, get experience, maybe eventually come back to my preferred city kids.
I got plans. It's not like I'm batting blind here.
I got responsibilities. I'm taking on extra. Going to help my mom with her fight for state aid/medical, which works out if I get a job in the medical field (because I would get a broader experience), and because I can help her get food stamps, (since I applied for them myself).
Super excited to be going to see Harry Potter 7.1 this weekend! And yes, I'm THAT kind of dork. I'm a reader, a good student, a teacher, and a fantasy/sci fi fanatic, so yes, that dorky.
Still, I look at TV and movies lately and I realize that we are running away, hiding in fantasy. Did you know that's how a lot of the old black and white Westerns came about? John Wayne and all that jazz? We needed to survive the crappy existence of the Depression and the war, and we stuffed our heads with fantasy about a time when the world was wide and open and untouched, and the good guy always won. We're doing it again, just with different genres.
I'll bite. It's nice to escape now and then, have a little fun.
Tonight I ate at my dad's place, only the second time since a huge fight about how ungrateful and worthless I am. No one's apologized, and I certainly won't be the one to do it. I might feel worthless, but I know for a fact I'm not ungrateful and others tell me I'm not worthless, so I don't think I'm in the wrong.
Is it just me, or has November flown by? And I'm exhausted. Suddenly the sun goes down at 4pm and I want to take a nap, but then my sleep schedule has gone a bit crazy. It's a very strange world we live in, or that I live in.
Got free cookies at the grocery store today when the check out guy recognized me from the Halloween gig. It was real nice of him. Honestly? Between spending half my day on the phone with my mom talking about randomness, and free cookies, I had a pretty decent day. Strange, but decent.
It's been busy, and relatively uninspiring.
Let's see, as far as feeding myself goes, they finally finished in my apartment sometime... first weekend? second weekend? of November. Finally, after like 4 months of never-ending life interruptus. I'm now able to cook, however, I couldn't cook for like 3 days because I hadn't gotten my last pay check yet, so I couldn't get groceries. Other than that, I get fed by others, which is usually preferable.
I won't lie- there were at least 3 times in the past 3 weeks where I just ate Ramen noodles out of the pan they were cooked in (in which they were cooked, says the teacher in me).
Working Halloween Hell was pretty mind numbing. Some of the people I worked with were cool, and some were kind of dumb. It's funny that my patience only seems to apply to students, not people I work with, or for. Hey, I got out of having to be a minimum wage mover! I was mainly in charge of inventory and packing.
Tonight, a very good friend looked at me and told me I should "stop passing up jobs" and that he feels like I "always talk [myself] out of things" but I don't think I agree with that.
Let's face it, I haven't applied to as nearly as many jobs as my compatriots. However, all I've "passed up" was a heads up that a school was taking applications for a non-teaching position. In my experience with this school, and with others that have held the position... It's political career death, essentially. Let's face it, I've talked myself out of making a very poor choice, basically. I have the option to take a position somewhere that I don't like the atmosphere, don't like the administration, don't like the mindset, and I'm supposed to base my job security on my ability to keep quiet and kiss up?
Anyone who knows me, knows that's not how I work.
Anyone who knows me, knows what I went through at that school. Why I know it's political career death.
Anyone that knows teaching understands the concept of political career death right now.
I didn't get a teaching certificate to play politic, but I'd rather play politic than be a complete and total boot lick. I think, as a teacher, you hope that you can have some freedoms, such as what happens (to some extent) in your classroom, and that you don't have to overwhelmingly support anyone or thing as long as you don't vocally denounce it, either. You can keep some dignity. You can keep some free will.
There are certain things I can't give up, and I fear those might lead to black-listing. Political career death before I even get on my way to my career? No thank you.
Money motivated... If I took a job in some sort of medical billing or customer service for the field, I could make some good money. I could maybe learn some things about financing and how the medical system works. If I got a job connected to a university, I could possibly take some classes for less or free. If I get involved in the suburbs, I could wait out whatever is going on with our sad public schools, make good money, get experience, maybe eventually come back to my preferred city kids.
I got plans. It's not like I'm batting blind here.
I got responsibilities. I'm taking on extra. Going to help my mom with her fight for state aid/medical, which works out if I get a job in the medical field (because I would get a broader experience), and because I can help her get food stamps, (since I applied for them myself).
Super excited to be going to see Harry Potter 7.1 this weekend! And yes, I'm THAT kind of dork. I'm a reader, a good student, a teacher, and a fantasy/sci fi fanatic, so yes, that dorky.
Still, I look at TV and movies lately and I realize that we are running away, hiding in fantasy. Did you know that's how a lot of the old black and white Westerns came about? John Wayne and all that jazz? We needed to survive the crappy existence of the Depression and the war, and we stuffed our heads with fantasy about a time when the world was wide and open and untouched, and the good guy always won. We're doing it again, just with different genres.
I'll bite. It's nice to escape now and then, have a little fun.
Tonight I ate at my dad's place, only the second time since a huge fight about how ungrateful and worthless I am. No one's apologized, and I certainly won't be the one to do it. I might feel worthless, but I know for a fact I'm not ungrateful and others tell me I'm not worthless, so I don't think I'm in the wrong.
Is it just me, or has November flown by? And I'm exhausted. Suddenly the sun goes down at 4pm and I want to take a nap, but then my sleep schedule has gone a bit crazy. It's a very strange world we live in, or that I live in.
Got free cookies at the grocery store today when the check out guy recognized me from the Halloween gig. It was real nice of him. Honestly? Between spending half my day on the phone with my mom talking about randomness, and free cookies, I had a pretty decent day. Strange, but decent.
Monday, October 18, 2010
*Inarticulate swearing*
I just washed my sad and forlorn teacher's cup, sitting covered in dust from the plumbing project of doom (what are we on, month three here?) and it makes me think...
It makes me think of how much happier I'd be if I were in a classroom. Of how my complaints would be based on frustrating little Jimmy or Sally's parents not being involved, or the security not speaking English... It makes me think of late nights grading papers and laughing at the things that come out of their mouths and brains. It makes me think of all the ways our system and society are failing, and then I get sad again.
All my friends are miserable. They're either working for minimum pay like dogs, working multiple jobs like dogs, or not working at all, and laying around, wishing they could lick themselves like dogs.
So I'm working this ridiculous job for $8.25/hr and today I got to play manager. This will never happen again, by the way, until I get a hefty pay increase. The manager tried to argue with me about how breaks work, after saying, "I'm not really all that familiar with the laws" to my face. Really? And the only reason I totaled all the hours was to make sure I was getting paid properly. Also, my manager has misplaced my paperwork, with all my personal information. Whatever, please, steal my identity, take my debt.
Dear Facebook,
Please stop suggesting I go back to school. Why would I want to put myself in further debt for another worthless degree? Why did I essentially waste 5 years of my life on a piece of paper I might as well flush down the toilet? Oh right, because I wanted to give back to the world... Because I wanted to make a difference in some kids' lives. Remember, no good deed goes unpunished.
Watching Zack and Meri Make a Porno, and reminding myself that sex is not going to solve anything.
What am I thankful for? My cats, my family, my few friends that actually bother to remember I exist. That is all. I can't be thankful for my home, because I don't pay for it, and the same goes for my car. I don't even really have my health, and I have no health insurance (thank you dad for adding me so I can finally go to the dentist maybe after 3 years). I guess it could be worse. I could be pregnant...
Watching my cat chewing his toe nails while the other shpoofs around is awesome. I'm looking forward to Halloween and a long weekend away from this damn hell hole of a city. A few days out in the woods should do me some good. At least I'm hoping.
::sigh:: I guess I ought to go to bed, considering I have to go back to Halloween Hell by 9:30. I swear, with what I spend in gas and sanity and on the occasional lunch I get to eat, well, I just don't think $8.25/hr is worth it. That's because it's not. The further I go, the behinder I get... Keep trying to take a few steps back so I can some giant leaps forward, but it just doesn't seem to be going well.
It makes me think of how much happier I'd be if I were in a classroom. Of how my complaints would be based on frustrating little Jimmy or Sally's parents not being involved, or the security not speaking English... It makes me think of late nights grading papers and laughing at the things that come out of their mouths and brains. It makes me think of all the ways our system and society are failing, and then I get sad again.
All my friends are miserable. They're either working for minimum pay like dogs, working multiple jobs like dogs, or not working at all, and laying around, wishing they could lick themselves like dogs.
So I'm working this ridiculous job for $8.25/hr and today I got to play manager. This will never happen again, by the way, until I get a hefty pay increase. The manager tried to argue with me about how breaks work, after saying, "I'm not really all that familiar with the laws" to my face. Really? And the only reason I totaled all the hours was to make sure I was getting paid properly. Also, my manager has misplaced my paperwork, with all my personal information. Whatever, please, steal my identity, take my debt.
Dear Facebook,
Please stop suggesting I go back to school. Why would I want to put myself in further debt for another worthless degree? Why did I essentially waste 5 years of my life on a piece of paper I might as well flush down the toilet? Oh right, because I wanted to give back to the world... Because I wanted to make a difference in some kids' lives. Remember, no good deed goes unpunished.
Watching Zack and Meri Make a Porno, and reminding myself that sex is not going to solve anything.
What am I thankful for? My cats, my family, my few friends that actually bother to remember I exist. That is all. I can't be thankful for my home, because I don't pay for it, and the same goes for my car. I don't even really have my health, and I have no health insurance (thank you dad for adding me so I can finally go to the dentist maybe after 3 years). I guess it could be worse. I could be pregnant...
Watching my cat chewing his toe nails while the other shpoofs around is awesome. I'm looking forward to Halloween and a long weekend away from this damn hell hole of a city. A few days out in the woods should do me some good. At least I'm hoping.
::sigh:: I guess I ought to go to bed, considering I have to go back to Halloween Hell by 9:30. I swear, with what I spend in gas and sanity and on the occasional lunch I get to eat, well, I just don't think $8.25/hr is worth it. That's because it's not. The further I go, the behinder I get... Keep trying to take a few steps back so I can some giant leaps forward, but it just doesn't seem to be going well.
Monday, October 11, 2010
This is the plumbing project that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends
So...
I was told they were coming to "put boards" like to brace the sinks? I come home and my entire apartment is torn asunder. No kitchen sink, and no kitchen to speak of, the hole in the dining room is reopened, and THEN, after I got home, they destroyed my bathroom again.
Also, the freezer has defrosted since this morning, so I have now lost all the food I own. Again. And I won't have a new fridge for at least two days.
Meanwhile, the cats have spent all day in the bedroom, and I now am getting high off the horrible smell of soddering. Water has been sprayed halfway across my kitchen and dining room, and the noise is amazing...
I think I must have been responsible for one of the World Wars in a past life. Must have been. Just don't understand what in the hell I ever did to deserve all this...
Then again, I have a crappy new (hopefully reliable) car with low mileage that takes low end gas. Hopefully I can find a teaching job in the suburbs, or at least a better paying job and move the fuck out of this ghetto. Really, I liked this place. When it functioned. And there weren't giant holes in the walls. Now, is not so good... The view is still really nice out the windows.
Who do I have to kill to make $40k a year? No, really, I want to know.
I saw a student today, from Student Teaching, at the Halloween store I'm working... How mortifying? "Hello dear, how's school? We have teen sizes, but it's the same as the small adult size." ANNNNND EXIT! What I should have said was, "Hello dear, how's school? Don't waste money on college, because you'll end up like me."
Patience, I must learn patience. It's just kind of hard when there's three sweaty foreigners in your apartment, you have no water, sinks, toilet, or food. Yeah, then patience starts to wear seriously thin, to say the least.
I was told they were coming to "put boards" like to brace the sinks? I come home and my entire apartment is torn asunder. No kitchen sink, and no kitchen to speak of, the hole in the dining room is reopened, and THEN, after I got home, they destroyed my bathroom again.
Also, the freezer has defrosted since this morning, so I have now lost all the food I own. Again. And I won't have a new fridge for at least two days.
Meanwhile, the cats have spent all day in the bedroom, and I now am getting high off the horrible smell of soddering. Water has been sprayed halfway across my kitchen and dining room, and the noise is amazing...
I think I must have been responsible for one of the World Wars in a past life. Must have been. Just don't understand what in the hell I ever did to deserve all this...
Then again, I have a crappy new (hopefully reliable) car with low mileage that takes low end gas. Hopefully I can find a teaching job in the suburbs, or at least a better paying job and move the fuck out of this ghetto. Really, I liked this place. When it functioned. And there weren't giant holes in the walls. Now, is not so good... The view is still really nice out the windows.
Who do I have to kill to make $40k a year? No, really, I want to know.
I saw a student today, from Student Teaching, at the Halloween store I'm working... How mortifying? "Hello dear, how's school? We have teen sizes, but it's the same as the small adult size." ANNNNND EXIT! What I should have said was, "Hello dear, how's school? Don't waste money on college, because you'll end up like me."
Patience, I must learn patience. It's just kind of hard when there's three sweaty foreigners in your apartment, you have no water, sinks, toilet, or food. Yeah, then patience starts to wear seriously thin, to say the least.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
I think I was Hitler in my past life
So I've been absent. Life has been far too ridiculous to even recount. In the past two weeks, I packed up my apartment, moved myself and the cats out for 6 days, came home and started cleaning (still cleaning, yes, dust managed to even get into the closed cabinets, and I've washed all the bowls, plates, and all but 3 of the pots and pans, but I still need to wash all my glasses and then all the glasses I had to pack up). I started my crappy little job for $8.25 an hour at the Halloween temp place, and I suppose it would be fun if it was a side job, or if the manager wasn't so ADD about everything, or if he knew how to compliment your hard work instead of pointing out the one thing on the list of a thousand things that didn't get done. Found a car that's sort of a hooptie, but hopefully will be a RELIABLE hooptie.
Today I woke up and the fridge was at 58 degrees so I was cooking jamabalaya by 11am, in the hopes of salvaging the chicken and andouille sausage, then had no place to put the cooked jambalaya so drove all the way over to my dad's house to refrigerate it. Got stood up by someone who was supposed to come look at my old car, had dinner, came home, and the fridge is at 62 and warming, and everything in it has kind of filled up with air, you know, nature's way of telling you it's all gone bad.
Yes, I think I was Hitler in my past life. Or maybe I just kicked a lot of puppies, or maybe I bombed an abortion clinic or roasted a monastery or something really, really awful. I just can't think of any reason why I deserve such a streak of bad luck. I really don't understand what I could have possibly done in my lifetime that is so bad that I deserve the last 3 months of my life...
I'm quickly running out of patience. And what little was left of my sanity. Humanity isnt looking so good either. The landlord told me the other day I should be nicer, and that I'm the only one who complained (aka took money off the rent). Just because I want to be nice doesn't mean I'm paying for something I can't use or enjoy. We signed a contract, you know, it's called a lease? And unlike some dumb shmucks, I actually know what the lease says, because it's not the first time I've had to deal with ghetto slumlords (really, he's not a bad man, he means well, he's just incompetent). And if the apartment was unlivable for 6 days, and I couldn't use my cable/internet for 6 days, and there were 4 days of packing/moving/cleaning, and 4 days of no water and no notification, well I reckon that's 14 days of rent I don't owe him, and 6 days of cable internet he owes me, plus the water I've been having to buy. I didn't even charge him for the electric they used on my dime to do the construction, or the extra gas it cost me to drive to and from my temporary living situation, or the cooking gas I didn't get to use, or the two beers they stole, or the box cutter and roll of duct tape they mistakenly took, or the super fancy $35 shower head that went missing...
Maybe I should start kicking puppies and mowing down grannies and taking candy from babies. I mean, if life is going to be hell anyway, I guess I ought to get the fun out of it, right? (Ok, so I won't kick puppies, but mowing down idiot pedestrians and slapping around bratty kids could be a lot of fun, even if it is a bit evil.)
Good night cruel world. You better shape up, or you're going to see the ugly side of this depressed, disillusioned, jaded, dead-end temp job working, certified teacher. Just because I tend to be a nice person doesn't mean I'm going to let life take advantage of me. Just because I like to be a nice person doesn't mean I can't be just as much of a son of a bitch as everyone else. Everyone needs to be a little bit of an asshole sometimes. Maybe now is the time...
Today I woke up and the fridge was at 58 degrees so I was cooking jamabalaya by 11am, in the hopes of salvaging the chicken and andouille sausage, then had no place to put the cooked jambalaya so drove all the way over to my dad's house to refrigerate it. Got stood up by someone who was supposed to come look at my old car, had dinner, came home, and the fridge is at 62 and warming, and everything in it has kind of filled up with air, you know, nature's way of telling you it's all gone bad.
Yes, I think I was Hitler in my past life. Or maybe I just kicked a lot of puppies, or maybe I bombed an abortion clinic or roasted a monastery or something really, really awful. I just can't think of any reason why I deserve such a streak of bad luck. I really don't understand what I could have possibly done in my lifetime that is so bad that I deserve the last 3 months of my life...
I'm quickly running out of patience. And what little was left of my sanity. Humanity isnt looking so good either. The landlord told me the other day I should be nicer, and that I'm the only one who complained (aka took money off the rent). Just because I want to be nice doesn't mean I'm paying for something I can't use or enjoy. We signed a contract, you know, it's called a lease? And unlike some dumb shmucks, I actually know what the lease says, because it's not the first time I've had to deal with ghetto slumlords (really, he's not a bad man, he means well, he's just incompetent). And if the apartment was unlivable for 6 days, and I couldn't use my cable/internet for 6 days, and there were 4 days of packing/moving/cleaning, and 4 days of no water and no notification, well I reckon that's 14 days of rent I don't owe him, and 6 days of cable internet he owes me, plus the water I've been having to buy. I didn't even charge him for the electric they used on my dime to do the construction, or the extra gas it cost me to drive to and from my temporary living situation, or the cooking gas I didn't get to use, or the two beers they stole, or the box cutter and roll of duct tape they mistakenly took, or the super fancy $35 shower head that went missing...
Maybe I should start kicking puppies and mowing down grannies and taking candy from babies. I mean, if life is going to be hell anyway, I guess I ought to get the fun out of it, right? (Ok, so I won't kick puppies, but mowing down idiot pedestrians and slapping around bratty kids could be a lot of fun, even if it is a bit evil.)
Good night cruel world. You better shape up, or you're going to see the ugly side of this depressed, disillusioned, jaded, dead-end temp job working, certified teacher. Just because I tend to be a nice person doesn't mean I'm going to let life take advantage of me. Just because I like to be a nice person doesn't mean I can't be just as much of a son of a bitch as everyone else. Everyone needs to be a little bit of an asshole sometimes. Maybe now is the time...
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Read it and Weep...
Please read this article from The Chicago Reader called Filed Away.
How messed up is this? That was my high school art teacher, and she was amazing!
http://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/honorably-terminated-teachers-chicago-public-schools-cps-jobs-hiring-bureaucracy/Content?oid=2457699
How messed up is this? That was my high school art teacher, and she was amazing!
http://www.chicagoreader.com/chicago/honorably-terminated-teachers-chicago-public-schools-cps-jobs-hiring-bureaucracy/Content?oid=2457699
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