I just washed my sad and forlorn teacher's cup, sitting covered in dust from the plumbing project of doom (what are we on, month three here?) and it makes me think...
It makes me think of how much happier I'd be if I were in a classroom. Of how my complaints would be based on frustrating little Jimmy or Sally's parents not being involved, or the security not speaking English... It makes me think of late nights grading papers and laughing at the things that come out of their mouths and brains. It makes me think of all the ways our system and society are failing, and then I get sad again.
All my friends are miserable. They're either working for minimum pay like dogs, working multiple jobs like dogs, or not working at all, and laying around, wishing they could lick themselves like dogs.
So I'm working this ridiculous job for $8.25/hr and today I got to play manager. This will never happen again, by the way, until I get a hefty pay increase. The manager tried to argue with me about how breaks work, after saying, "I'm not really all that familiar with the laws" to my face. Really? And the only reason I totaled all the hours was to make sure I was getting paid properly. Also, my manager has misplaced my paperwork, with all my personal information. Whatever, please, steal my identity, take my debt.
Dear Facebook,
Please stop suggesting I go back to school. Why would I want to put myself in further debt for another worthless degree? Why did I essentially waste 5 years of my life on a piece of paper I might as well flush down the toilet? Oh right, because I wanted to give back to the world... Because I wanted to make a difference in some kids' lives. Remember, no good deed goes unpunished.
Watching Zack and Meri Make a Porno, and reminding myself that sex is not going to solve anything.
What am I thankful for? My cats, my family, my few friends that actually bother to remember I exist. That is all. I can't be thankful for my home, because I don't pay for it, and the same goes for my car. I don't even really have my health, and I have no health insurance (thank you dad for adding me so I can finally go to the dentist maybe after 3 years). I guess it could be worse. I could be pregnant...
Watching my cat chewing his toe nails while the other shpoofs around is awesome. I'm looking forward to Halloween and a long weekend away from this damn hell hole of a city. A few days out in the woods should do me some good. At least I'm hoping.
::sigh:: I guess I ought to go to bed, considering I have to go back to Halloween Hell by 9:30. I swear, with what I spend in gas and sanity and on the occasional lunch I get to eat, well, I just don't think $8.25/hr is worth it. That's because it's not. The further I go, the behinder I get... Keep trying to take a few steps back so I can some giant leaps forward, but it just doesn't seem to be going well.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
This is the plumbing project that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends
So...
I was told they were coming to "put boards" like to brace the sinks? I come home and my entire apartment is torn asunder. No kitchen sink, and no kitchen to speak of, the hole in the dining room is reopened, and THEN, after I got home, they destroyed my bathroom again.
Also, the freezer has defrosted since this morning, so I have now lost all the food I own. Again. And I won't have a new fridge for at least two days.
Meanwhile, the cats have spent all day in the bedroom, and I now am getting high off the horrible smell of soddering. Water has been sprayed halfway across my kitchen and dining room, and the noise is amazing...
I think I must have been responsible for one of the World Wars in a past life. Must have been. Just don't understand what in the hell I ever did to deserve all this...
Then again, I have a crappy new (hopefully reliable) car with low mileage that takes low end gas. Hopefully I can find a teaching job in the suburbs, or at least a better paying job and move the fuck out of this ghetto. Really, I liked this place. When it functioned. And there weren't giant holes in the walls. Now, is not so good... The view is still really nice out the windows.
Who do I have to kill to make $40k a year? No, really, I want to know.
I saw a student today, from Student Teaching, at the Halloween store I'm working... How mortifying? "Hello dear, how's school? We have teen sizes, but it's the same as the small adult size." ANNNNND EXIT! What I should have said was, "Hello dear, how's school? Don't waste money on college, because you'll end up like me."
Patience, I must learn patience. It's just kind of hard when there's three sweaty foreigners in your apartment, you have no water, sinks, toilet, or food. Yeah, then patience starts to wear seriously thin, to say the least.
I was told they were coming to "put boards" like to brace the sinks? I come home and my entire apartment is torn asunder. No kitchen sink, and no kitchen to speak of, the hole in the dining room is reopened, and THEN, after I got home, they destroyed my bathroom again.
Also, the freezer has defrosted since this morning, so I have now lost all the food I own. Again. And I won't have a new fridge for at least two days.
Meanwhile, the cats have spent all day in the bedroom, and I now am getting high off the horrible smell of soddering. Water has been sprayed halfway across my kitchen and dining room, and the noise is amazing...
I think I must have been responsible for one of the World Wars in a past life. Must have been. Just don't understand what in the hell I ever did to deserve all this...
Then again, I have a crappy new (hopefully reliable) car with low mileage that takes low end gas. Hopefully I can find a teaching job in the suburbs, or at least a better paying job and move the fuck out of this ghetto. Really, I liked this place. When it functioned. And there weren't giant holes in the walls. Now, is not so good... The view is still really nice out the windows.
Who do I have to kill to make $40k a year? No, really, I want to know.
I saw a student today, from Student Teaching, at the Halloween store I'm working... How mortifying? "Hello dear, how's school? We have teen sizes, but it's the same as the small adult size." ANNNNND EXIT! What I should have said was, "Hello dear, how's school? Don't waste money on college, because you'll end up like me."
Patience, I must learn patience. It's just kind of hard when there's three sweaty foreigners in your apartment, you have no water, sinks, toilet, or food. Yeah, then patience starts to wear seriously thin, to say the least.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
I think I was Hitler in my past life
So I've been absent. Life has been far too ridiculous to even recount. In the past two weeks, I packed up my apartment, moved myself and the cats out for 6 days, came home and started cleaning (still cleaning, yes, dust managed to even get into the closed cabinets, and I've washed all the bowls, plates, and all but 3 of the pots and pans, but I still need to wash all my glasses and then all the glasses I had to pack up). I started my crappy little job for $8.25 an hour at the Halloween temp place, and I suppose it would be fun if it was a side job, or if the manager wasn't so ADD about everything, or if he knew how to compliment your hard work instead of pointing out the one thing on the list of a thousand things that didn't get done. Found a car that's sort of a hooptie, but hopefully will be a RELIABLE hooptie.
Today I woke up and the fridge was at 58 degrees so I was cooking jamabalaya by 11am, in the hopes of salvaging the chicken and andouille sausage, then had no place to put the cooked jambalaya so drove all the way over to my dad's house to refrigerate it. Got stood up by someone who was supposed to come look at my old car, had dinner, came home, and the fridge is at 62 and warming, and everything in it has kind of filled up with air, you know, nature's way of telling you it's all gone bad.
Yes, I think I was Hitler in my past life. Or maybe I just kicked a lot of puppies, or maybe I bombed an abortion clinic or roasted a monastery or something really, really awful. I just can't think of any reason why I deserve such a streak of bad luck. I really don't understand what I could have possibly done in my lifetime that is so bad that I deserve the last 3 months of my life...
I'm quickly running out of patience. And what little was left of my sanity. Humanity isnt looking so good either. The landlord told me the other day I should be nicer, and that I'm the only one who complained (aka took money off the rent). Just because I want to be nice doesn't mean I'm paying for something I can't use or enjoy. We signed a contract, you know, it's called a lease? And unlike some dumb shmucks, I actually know what the lease says, because it's not the first time I've had to deal with ghetto slumlords (really, he's not a bad man, he means well, he's just incompetent). And if the apartment was unlivable for 6 days, and I couldn't use my cable/internet for 6 days, and there were 4 days of packing/moving/cleaning, and 4 days of no water and no notification, well I reckon that's 14 days of rent I don't owe him, and 6 days of cable internet he owes me, plus the water I've been having to buy. I didn't even charge him for the electric they used on my dime to do the construction, or the extra gas it cost me to drive to and from my temporary living situation, or the cooking gas I didn't get to use, or the two beers they stole, or the box cutter and roll of duct tape they mistakenly took, or the super fancy $35 shower head that went missing...
Maybe I should start kicking puppies and mowing down grannies and taking candy from babies. I mean, if life is going to be hell anyway, I guess I ought to get the fun out of it, right? (Ok, so I won't kick puppies, but mowing down idiot pedestrians and slapping around bratty kids could be a lot of fun, even if it is a bit evil.)
Good night cruel world. You better shape up, or you're going to see the ugly side of this depressed, disillusioned, jaded, dead-end temp job working, certified teacher. Just because I tend to be a nice person doesn't mean I'm going to let life take advantage of me. Just because I like to be a nice person doesn't mean I can't be just as much of a son of a bitch as everyone else. Everyone needs to be a little bit of an asshole sometimes. Maybe now is the time...
Today I woke up and the fridge was at 58 degrees so I was cooking jamabalaya by 11am, in the hopes of salvaging the chicken and andouille sausage, then had no place to put the cooked jambalaya so drove all the way over to my dad's house to refrigerate it. Got stood up by someone who was supposed to come look at my old car, had dinner, came home, and the fridge is at 62 and warming, and everything in it has kind of filled up with air, you know, nature's way of telling you it's all gone bad.
Yes, I think I was Hitler in my past life. Or maybe I just kicked a lot of puppies, or maybe I bombed an abortion clinic or roasted a monastery or something really, really awful. I just can't think of any reason why I deserve such a streak of bad luck. I really don't understand what I could have possibly done in my lifetime that is so bad that I deserve the last 3 months of my life...
I'm quickly running out of patience. And what little was left of my sanity. Humanity isnt looking so good either. The landlord told me the other day I should be nicer, and that I'm the only one who complained (aka took money off the rent). Just because I want to be nice doesn't mean I'm paying for something I can't use or enjoy. We signed a contract, you know, it's called a lease? And unlike some dumb shmucks, I actually know what the lease says, because it's not the first time I've had to deal with ghetto slumlords (really, he's not a bad man, he means well, he's just incompetent). And if the apartment was unlivable for 6 days, and I couldn't use my cable/internet for 6 days, and there were 4 days of packing/moving/cleaning, and 4 days of no water and no notification, well I reckon that's 14 days of rent I don't owe him, and 6 days of cable internet he owes me, plus the water I've been having to buy. I didn't even charge him for the electric they used on my dime to do the construction, or the extra gas it cost me to drive to and from my temporary living situation, or the cooking gas I didn't get to use, or the two beers they stole, or the box cutter and roll of duct tape they mistakenly took, or the super fancy $35 shower head that went missing...
Maybe I should start kicking puppies and mowing down grannies and taking candy from babies. I mean, if life is going to be hell anyway, I guess I ought to get the fun out of it, right? (Ok, so I won't kick puppies, but mowing down idiot pedestrians and slapping around bratty kids could be a lot of fun, even if it is a bit evil.)
Good night cruel world. You better shape up, or you're going to see the ugly side of this depressed, disillusioned, jaded, dead-end temp job working, certified teacher. Just because I tend to be a nice person doesn't mean I'm going to let life take advantage of me. Just because I like to be a nice person doesn't mean I can't be just as much of a son of a bitch as everyone else. Everyone needs to be a little bit of an asshole sometimes. Maybe now is the time...
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