I think I was Hitler in my past life

So I've been absent.  Life has been far too ridiculous to even recount.  In the past two weeks, I packed up my apartment, moved myself and the cats out for 6 days, came home and started cleaning (still cleaning, yes, dust managed to even get into the closed cabinets, and I've washed all the bowls, plates, and all but 3 of the pots and pans, but I still need to wash all my glasses and then all the glasses I had to pack up).  I started my crappy little job for $8.25 an hour at the Halloween temp place, and I suppose it would be fun if it was a side job, or if the manager wasn't so ADD about everything, or if he knew how to compliment your hard work instead of pointing out the one thing on the list of a thousand things that didn't get done.  Found a car that's sort of a hooptie, but hopefully will be a RELIABLE hooptie.
Today I woke up and the fridge was at 58 degrees so I was cooking jamabalaya by 11am, in the hopes of salvaging the chicken and andouille sausage, then had no place to put the cooked jambalaya so drove all the way over to my dad's house to refrigerate it.  Got stood up by someone who was supposed to come look at my old car, had dinner, came home, and the fridge is at 62 and warming, and everything in it has kind of filled up with air, you know, nature's way of telling you it's all gone bad.

Yes, I think I was Hitler in my past life.  Or maybe I just kicked a lot of puppies, or maybe I bombed an abortion clinic or roasted a monastery or something really, really awful.  I just can't think of any reason why I deserve such a streak of bad luck.  I really don't understand what I could have possibly done in my lifetime that is so bad that I deserve the last 3 months of my life...

I'm quickly running out of patience.  And what little was left of my sanity.  Humanity isnt looking so good either.  The landlord told me the other day I should be nicer, and that I'm the only one who complained (aka took money off the rent).  Just because I want to be nice doesn't mean I'm paying for something I can't use or enjoy.  We signed a contract, you know, it's called a lease?  And unlike some dumb shmucks, I actually know what the lease says, because it's not the first time I've had to deal with ghetto slumlords (really, he's not a bad man, he means well, he's just incompetent).  And if the apartment was unlivable for 6 days, and I couldn't use my cable/internet for 6 days, and there were 4 days of packing/moving/cleaning, and 4 days of no water and no notification, well I reckon that's 14 days of rent I don't owe him, and 6 days of cable internet he owes me, plus the water I've been having to buy.  I didn't even charge him for the electric they used on my dime to do the construction, or the extra gas it cost me to drive to and from my temporary living situation, or the cooking gas I didn't get to use, or the two beers they stole, or the box cutter and roll of duct tape they mistakenly took, or the super fancy $35 shower head that went missing...

Maybe I should start kicking puppies and mowing down grannies and taking candy from babies.  I mean, if life is going to be hell anyway, I guess I ought to get the fun out of it, right?  (Ok, so I won't kick puppies, but mowing down idiot pedestrians and slapping around bratty kids could be a lot of fun, even if it is a bit evil.)

Good night cruel world.  You better shape up, or you're going to see the ugly side of this depressed, disillusioned, jaded, dead-end temp job working, certified teacher.  Just because I tend to be a nice person doesn't mean I'm going to let life take advantage of me.  Just because I like to be a nice person doesn't mean I can't be just as much of a son of a bitch as everyone else.  Everyone needs to be a little bit of an asshole sometimes.  Maybe now is the time...